Small, yet grand discoveries!

Well, after initially feeling very scared at the thought of weaning Beatrix, I began the discovery of complimentary foods in an introduction to solid foods. 

After my health visitor suggested baby rice, I bought some in an emotional, hormonal stupor, only to get it home and stare at it because I didn't want my baby to have it. Luckily Nick wasn't keen either! 

I have been very fortunate to find a lovely breast feeding group who support breast feeding, slipper wearing mummies. We eat tea and toast & generally get us & our babies dressed and ready for the day with a weekly chat about everything from cracked nipples to Christmas elves, niggling relatives and baby poo! 

These ladies helped me a lot in my lost and confused state of baby weaning and I will always be grateful.

All good things happen in Aberdovey and so it only seemed right that we start Beatrix with some food in Aberdovey. 

So far she has licked and sucked carrots, French beans, potato, cauliflower, broccoli, peas, sweet corn, cucumber, tomato, lettuce and rice.

She has eaten very small pieces of carrot and cauliflower and when I changed her nappy this afternoon I saw two pieces of sweet corn!! Not a pleasant subject I know, but isn't the human body clever! Beatrix tried sweet corn for the first time at tea time last night! It made me smile. A small, yet grand discovery. 

Nice to know that she has swallowed something of her own accord. All we do is put it out on her tray. 

Baby led weaning is a messy experience, but as I realised today- a rewarding one! 

Don't forget the sugar!

Last Sunday it was Beatrix's Christening. 

Nick, Beatrix and I all went to a family friends house before hand to get her dressed and push her up to church.

She behaved well in church and loved smiling at people and enjoyed the lights. Towards the end she became restless and after a short wonder round with Nick she fell asleep in his arms. 

All of our photographs around the font with the family and godparents are all with Bea asleep. Quite funny! 

We pushed her back & got her in the car seat- still asleep, her dress was stuffed in pockets and corners just to get her strapped in!

We arrived at the reception venue and Beatrix woke up and sprung into smile action to greet her guests. 

Again, she was very good and we fed a couple of times under the cloak, but she was more interested in the people, noise and talking to eat, so I knew she'd be ravenous when we got home.

Once the guests started leaving Bea again became restless and I thought we should get her home so she can have a sleep & some tea in peace! 

We left and Bea started to cry, the crying got louder and louder, so we pulled into Sainsbury's car park to get Bea out for a feed to settle her. 

I stayed in the front of the car & Nick got Bea out and brought her round to me. As he held her outside the car I could see yellow ( Chicken Korma colour ) poo up her back and through her dress. 

We were in a car park and couldn't put her down. 

I stupidly took nappies and wipes etc in a handbag and left Bea's changing bag at home... This included her changing mat! 

We ended up putting the parcel shelf down & using the dress bag from her gown to lie her on! What a palarva! 

Once Bea was clean & fresh and in a new set of clothes I dispatched Nick for pizza & sugar, whilst I gave Bea a feed. 

Well I tried to! 

Naturally I parked out of the way by trees!! She couldn't concentrate because she wanted to look at the trees! So there I was sitting in Sainsbury's car park with a stray boob out whilst Bea was sitting up watching the leaves blow in the wind!

The photo is my view! 

The only thing that made this worse was the Chinese man who walked out of the back of the Chinese take away & stood watching me & Nick remembering pizza, but forgetting the sugar!!

Give generously...

Now I started a very heart felt blog on Friday morning as I watched Beatrix playing on her gym wearing her Children in Need Pudsey shirt. Sadly this did not save when I returned to continue.

I began to feel sad and thankful. Sad that there are many children who will not be playing underneath a gym, either because they are not fortunate to own one, or because they are not well enough.

I began to think mainly about the disadvantaged children in the UK, those that go off to school in pain and suffering, suffering from verbal, physical or mental abuse.

Children in need helps many different children, not least poorly and terminally ill young people who require extra help that Children in need give so generously.

I have watched the Friday night Children in need programme for many years, I have also done my fair share of fund raising. I have attended school and work  in my PJ's, dressed as a doctors, an old lady, a hippy, Marilyn Monroe... The list goes on, but nothing has made me feel more involved than watching Children in need for the first time as a mummy, with my own child.

My husband is more of an observer with Facebook and rarely updates his status, but even he was moved to tears and took to his profile to note : 

" Watching children in need for the first time as a parent is a real eye opener and makes us realise how lucky we are. Love you Beatrix Jessica "

And we did feel lucky, it was very sad, almost too sad to watch.

Bea was feeding during the last story before the BBC1/BBC2 switch over and I was sobbing so much that I had to pull her off my breast to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I loved her.

Naturally she was confused and wanted to get back to her supper, but I needed to hold her and to tell her how I felt.

I think we should all be thankful for all of the people in our lives a give generously to children's charities.

Well done Pudseyx

Baby led Beatrix

Sleep, who needs sleep?! Sleep is for wimps right?!

As I have mentioned Beatrix is a napper! She won't be competing in the great British sleep off! 

Beatrix from 6ish- 15ish weeks slept from 9.30/10.30- 6ish with 1-2 feeds.

Around 3.5 months the feeds increasing to 2-3, 3-4 and then at 4 months she had a mammoth growth spurt which she went crazy for milk at night. 

She then developed a cold, so that brought with it the regular coughs, snotty noses and inability to breath, so the restless nights continued, but of course I was happy to help her, as it was horrible listening to her struggle.

Whilst her cold has lingered on, the night time is much worse than the day. I have been using baby Olbas oil on her sheets, but I think that helps me more than Beatrix!

The feeding has just continued at this frequency & now we are feeding far more than sleeping, that & the napping in the day surely can't last forever!

I am thinking that Beatrix is now ready for a bit extra & may now be ready to start weaning. But this makes me sad! Aren't I suppose to wait until she's 6 months old? Have I failed her because I can't give her enough?

And then there's the mind field of weaning! Mush, purée, baby led, spoons, bowls, pots, risks, rice! Who knows what's best!

I am waiting for a visit from our health visitor. Wish me luck!!!! X

Nice to see you, to see you nice!

Last Saturday Bea had her Baby Sensory Halloween party.

Whilst I can choose her outfits, ( I know it won't be forever!)I dressed her as a pumpkin & took her along.

My mum & both of Nick's parents joined me to watch Bea.

It was an action packed hour, which we followed with lunch & more playing and eventually got home about 4.

Now Bea is not a day time sleeper, ( sometimes, she's not a night time sleeper either!). She grabs 5-20 minute naps, or part of a journey in the car, but never for any significant amount of time.

Beatrix was clearly over tired & began to cry on the way home, the cry turned to a scream and the scream turned to a roar & I was very grateful when I pulled up at home. I ran round to get my little pumpkin with a beet root face & real tears cascading down her little round cheeks.

I ran in, grabbed the V pillow & the milk shop was open for business.

We fed for 15 minutes & then was fast asleep in my arms.

Once asleep, I like to let her stay comfortable until I know if she's going to wake or not.

After 25 minutes, I thought I would lay her onto the V pillow on the settee. This was a seamless transition, sometimes I feel I need training from Army bomb disposal experts, it's such a task to put her down without waking her!

I stayed next to her for half an hour & then went and made a drink ( and treated myself to a couple of biscuits ) and sat back down- she was still asleep!

I enjoyed my hot cup of tea & then the pumpkin stirred... She was mouthing at my chest like a muted lion, so I opened the milk shop for my favourite customer.

After a small drink feed she fell back to sleep again. I tried my luck and put her down in her Moses basket. She slept for another hour, this was most unheard of.

She must have heard the start of Strictly, because when she woke she was in such a wonderful, happy mood.

We sang along and danced to the show and it occurred to me just how much I had missed her whilst she'd been asleep. It may sound silly, but I was so excited! I couldn't stop kissing her. I love my baby Beatrix so very much xxxx

1 sided droop!

Oh dear, it's happened to us all, please say it's happened to us all?!

Bea & I are full of cold and have been for a few days, I've got a throat infection & generally we're not feeling on form! 

That said, we are resting indoors today away from the storms. ( this does mean we miss lunch with Clair & Eloise which did not go down well with Bea )

We were up and dressed by 7am as when Bea was having her breakfast, she decided to fill her nappy. Pampers baby dry couldn't even hold 10 hours of wee & that gift. So as a result both Bea & I got wet! It clearly was fit to burst! 

So, we got up ( quickly ) and got washed & dressed into some clean, dry clothes & went downstairs to start our day. 

We have both been wearing hoodies to keep us warm & I even kept my sleep/ nursing bra on as it's super comfy. 

I think I may have a fever as the hoody has been swapping off & on.

I was feeding Bea with my hoody off & just wearing a vest top & the sleep bra. I then heard a knock at the door. 

I ( thankfully) remembered to replace my boob before picking Bea up & rushing to the front door! 

It was the postman with Bea's Christening gown! How exciting! Now he made a fuss of Bea & kept starring at her, saying how cute she was & how much hair she had, but it wasn't until I shut the door I realised that Bea was on the side we had been feeding on, with my bra clip undone & her hand inside! No wonder he thought she was cute, I bet it looked like she was digging deep to find the start! Talk about lop sided! 

Not a great look on a Monday morning!! 

A mothers bond

I have been out to Panto rehearsal this evening.

Just a short one this evening, a quick blast of Rescue me & Hero! 

It was good actually as I started the rehearsal not liking the songs and gained a lot of confidence tonight. 

I debated about going to the bathroom before I left Panto, but decided I'd hurry back to my family first. 

I got home & Bea was fast asleep in Nick's arms. He looked the proudest father & had a ' look what I did' face! 

Her mouth was wide open & she looked so peaceful. 

He gave her to me as I'd missed my baby! She continued to sleep & I just starred. 

I phoned my Grandma & as soon as I said Hello- Bea opened both eyes boldly & looked straight at me with the biggest smile. 

She looked so happy & could not stop smiling, it was such a beautiful moment, I couldn't wait to get off my phone to kiss her! 

Beatrix smiled and talked all the way through the conversation & homed in for my boob as soon as the call was ended! 

Still haven't been to the bathroom.... Remember to always take your chance!! 

It was ace 😊

Night all x

The Pensnet Picnic

Well, If there was ever a day that didn't go to plan today was it. 

For the last few Wednesdays Clair and I have been attending a breastfeeding Peer Support training course. It runs from 10-12.

Bea woke at 7.30, fed then slept, so I could get washed & dressed in peace! I even had time to express!

She woke & managed to have a bath, get dressed and just when we were ready to head over to Clair's, I received a text to say that today's class had to be cancelled. 

At this point Bea & I should have got in the car, but sadly we didn't! We faffed & eventually arrived with Clair at 10.15.

Bea & Eloise were asleep so we had a cuppa & after 5 minutes of being there discovered that Clair's phone was broken & stuck on snooze, so sure enough every 5 minutes for the rest of the day her phone went off! 

Eloise had a feed & we headed off to Kiddicare.

After about 30 seconds Bea started crying, this cry went to a scream & we pulled into a pub car park to feed about 3 minutes away from Clair's house- timing!

Bea has a new found love for trees & she can be mesmerised and transfixed at swaying leaves & trees. It really is amazing to watch the transition from a screaming, uncontrollable infant, to a calm serene, angelic baby. 

So, after the impromptu feed we were off & on our way. 

We arrived at Kiddicare and did our usual expedition for parent & child parking, to realise yet again, that they don't have any!

In & straight to the sale rail - naturally! 

We were all desperate to use ' the facilities ', so after we picked up a couple of items we decided to go straight to the bathrooms. 

We set the alarm off with our sale items, so had to leave them on the side. 

 

Clair & I went first & we were able to take our girls Into the individual adult cubicle as they are large enough for pushchairs- great! Whilst washing our hands we were once again reminded that, that activity had taken 5 minutes as Clair's alarm had gone off- again. 

Next to the cafe where we hoped to all have lunch, get the girls to sleep and back to the sale rail! 

Choosing food- 5 minutes

Finding table & rummaging for receipts-5 minutes

Time spent before the girls wanted to come out- 5 minutes

You get the picture by now that our day was recognised in 5 minute snaps due to Clair's alarm. 

Bea did her usual trick of falling asleep after a feed & so after 5 minutes I picked her up & carried her to her pushchair. Now baby in hand I managed to remove Sophie & her straps & place her in-still asleep. A major high five moment for a mum!  

I sat back down, but as I did an almighty squeak was heard, which I felt bellowed around the room!

I had done what every mother dreads, sat on Sophie!! Our eyes went straight to Bea & thankfully she continued to sleep. 

We were due to be with Erin for 2 & due to lateness & extra feeds we were a little behind schedule. We got in touch with Erin to let her know it would be about 2.30- baby time!

So we shopped and then we left for Erin's.

About 30 seconds into our journey Bea started to cry. Again the cry developed into a scream and no amount of fast (legal) driving was helping. 

We seemed to be surrounded by yellow lines & ended up pulling into a rather dodgy looking street in Pennsnett. 

I got Bea out & she immediately calmed with a cuddle & spotted some trees. I put her back in & the crying started,Eloise then started crying. Bea then decided she'd like a snack & after some similar attempts to calm Eloise, Clair also gave Eloise a snack. 

Now I wish I had taken a photo of this. It was hilarious. I drive a VW Polo & with 2 Isofix bases, the seats could not be moved. 

Bea was feeding whilst resting on the steering wheel & Eloise is so long her feet were against the door. We decided they were having a Pensnett picnic! 

The alarm went off & we joked that feeding time was over as the alarm had sounded. Clair & I laughed until we had tummy ache & Bea decided to laugh, it was lovely. 

We thought the girls were settled & put them back in. Bea was niggly, so I asked Clair to start the car & as I shut Bea's door, I ran round the car, jumped in & drove in the hope that the motion of the car would help the girls sleep. No such luck!!!

Half a mile down the road we had the same palarva in a cricket club car park. 

This time Bea was feeding & pulling away. She seemed to do this just as people drove past! 

We got back in the car & I managed to reverse & the screaming started, so we stopped and tried to comfort them again

The crying continued for Bea & Eloise gave up! So after 5 minutes in the car, I pulled in by Ibstock bricks.

There are a lot of trees around the entrance & Clair suggested just to take the seat out & rock her. This combo worked! Horray!!!!

In shear desperation I pulled branches & twigs off the trees & fixed them in her head rest ( picture attached) eventually she drifted off. 

We arrived at Erin's house at 3.15, It was nice to have a sit down and a cup of tea with the girls happily playing with Finn.

With only 4 weeks to go, i needed to post the Christening invitations & some eBay parcels & the girls kindly offered to watch Bea whilst I popped to the post office. Another big mistake!!! At 4.40 everyone goes to the post office for 5pm post!!!

I was 4th in the queue after the guy 19 eBay parcels that they only charged for 16, the lady sending her son a parcel to Indian & an OAP collecting their pension. I got really flustered!! 

I was worried about Bea and then got lost on the way home & had to activate my sat nav! 

All was well when I returned, but what an exhausting day!! 

The crying continued! 

Close enough to calm

Well, as a mother I think the best of her!

I think she is a happy & content little girl that cries for a reason... Hungry, tired or in need of a nappy change. 

Bea is not the type to cry without a reason, but she has been known to get ' Tizwazitus! ' When she gets in a real tiz when she is over tired or ravenous & we can't access the milk shop quick enough! 

The night before last Bea gave a shining example of this condition in the living room. 

She started crying, then screaming and it appeared that there was nothing I could do to settle her. 

She did not want to listen to my repertoire of nursery rhythms & did not wish to sway, jig or rock, eat, sleep or change. 

Times like this can be very hard & I hate to hear her cry. 

When this happened before, my new best friend & super mum Clair suggested that Nick or I try stripping her & us down for skin to skin to calm her.

We went upstairs & stripped off & lay on the bed. 

Just like my newborn baby 4 months ago, Bea wriggled to get close to me & found my nipple straight away and the crying stopped like a switch. 

She lay feeding for the next 45minutes, holding her hands on either side of my breast and then started touching the other one, in a bid to say ' you're next!! ' 

I am not saying that at 16weeks Bea knows how to stimulate and massage her letdown in the other breast, but it was a lovely feeling. 

Nick came up & saw us lying on the bed & so he took his top off & lay behind her. 

She turned over & lay & chatted to us both for about 10 minutes, she was very happy & calm. It was so lovely and a really special time for us all. 

A family memory to treasure. Xxxx

Getting to the root of the problem

Bea has had a very chilled day today, she has been cheery & happy, but not a fan of sleep today! 

We started our day in Waitrose with Clair & Eloise having coffee, she was tired and after a few half hearted suckles, she fell asleep  as I swayed singing "Oh dear what can the matter be, Beatrix Bloxham got stuck in the lavatory"! 

We returned home to wake Nick so he could drive me to the dentist. 

Bea fell asleep on the way, so I left them in the car. 

I had root canal surgery today & so there were plenty of drills, buzzing & sucking! 

After out 20 minutes in between drills I could hear a baby crying, I didn't have long enough to hear before my mouth was occupied with instruments once more. 

As the dentist began to pack my tooth the noise got quieter & I could hear Bea niggling in the corridor outside the room. 

I wanted to cuddle her, but knew I had to wait. 

As soon as he finished I ripped off my cloak, flung the glasses on the seat & swirled the rinse so fast round my mouth that it cascaded out of the left hand side of my mouth like a waterfall. I had forgotten about my anaesthetic & dribbling better than Bea in a teething frenzy. 

We drove to the pharmacy & Nick took pitty on my 'not for public view' face and went to order my antibiotics. 

Bea decided that she wanted a snack whilst we waited. I tried to get out of the car & Nick had locked us in. 

I had to climb from the front to the back to get to her ( you'll learn I don't have much luck with breast feeding in the car ) but all was well once I arrived. 

Tempting as it was to stay feeding in the back & let Nick drive us the 30 seconds home, we of course put her back in her car seat and took her home. 

Nick checked with the pharmacist if I could take amoxicillin whilst breast feeding and he said yes, but when reading the leaflet it said no! 

I got in touch with the girls who are doing our peer support training and thankfully Gemma gave me a number that you can call to check if medication is harmful to babies whilst breast feeding. 

It is- 08444124665

She also found the page in her book which tells me it's ok. 

So now I can off to sleep in less pain, Bea can go full & hopefully we'll continue last nights good form.

Sweet dreams all xxx

Breast pads

Well, they are a necessity to most breast feeding mums! 

My sister packed my hospital bag as a gift & so the first ones I ever used were Johnsons. I found these very comfortable.

I then went on to Avent & they were very similar. 

My big mistake occurred when I spotted a 3 for 2 offer in Boots on their own brand. 

Ridiculous, it's like inserting a side plate into your bra & it ends up like some crumpled paper mâché experiment at the bottom of your bra... The benefit of the concave ones by Johnson & Avent is that when they wiggle to the bottom of your bra, they at least act as a chicken fillet for a bit of boost! 

I digress, the reason why I write today's post is because the horrid side plates have been put to the bottom of the breast pad basket for emergencies! Well today is an emergency! There are no more in stock! 

What makes them more of an inconvenience, is that they are individually wrapped- who has time to unwrap two breast pads... Though it does give you an idea of their enormous size, they are so big they have to be folded in two! 

I can never manage to open them & end up tearing them apart with my teeth & then spend the next 10 minutes looking for the stray price of plastic. 

As you may have noticed I have an eye for a bargain, so when shopping in Sainsbury's I saw their own brand breast pads were £1.08 on offer in their baby event. I went crazy and boughtl a box to try. 

They are concave & very similar to the Avent & Johnson ones, so I am very pleased. 

All breast pads come with a sticky piece which is about the size of a 2 pence & no use to man nor beast. You'd be better off going all Blue Peter & using your own sticky back plastic!

Sainsbury's however have developed their adhesive into a strip, which unfortunately has a blue plastic strip sealing it. This is royal blue, the colour of whole milk. 

As I mentioned in my last post, I sometimes have to take Bea to Panto rehearsals. 

I few weeks ago I did just that & planned to keep Bea until the break, feed her & then Nick would collect her & take her home. 

This is exactly what happened, but as Bea finishes her feed I got so involved with getting her things and waving her & Nick off that I forgot I even had a breast pad, let alone that I'd returned it to my bra.

Well I hadn't! Gary, another member & I clearly spotted the lost breast pad with the bright blue strip on the floor in the rehearsal room at the same time. In a bizarre slow motion movie, I leant towards it, but was too late- he's got it, he picked it up! My breast pad was now in his hands, oh the shame! 

He said ' I think this is yours ' and handed it to me & I stuffed it into my bag.

He was very good about it, whilst I wanted the ground to swallow me up! 

So I think the moral of all this is, choose breast pads wisely, not on price & please use the adhesive!    

Feeling like the worst mum in the world 😟

Well I had planned to start my blog with stories and experiences that I have had so far as a breast feeding mum! 

Tonight has unfortunately given me the opportunity to write from the heart on my first post... Feeling like the worst mum in the world. 

Last year I joined a pantomime group through my old singing teacher in Perton, West Midlands.

A lovely friendly bunch who really make you feel one of the family. 

8 weeks into rehearsals I announce that I'm 12 weeks pregnant and will be 20 weeks pregnant during show week. 

I was happy to carry on and they were happy for me to still be involved. 

All went well as bump & I played the evil Queen Grizelda ( all bar a fall on the first night!)

Anyway, 7 months on auditions open for next years Panto Robin Hood. 

So, my husband, 2 week old Bea & I go to auditions & I try my hand at Maid Marian. 

Maybe they were frightened to let down the tired new mum who was hormonally challenged, but I got the part! 

So, September this year rehearsals started. They run every Wednesday 7.15-9.45 and most Thursdays 7-9.

Rehearsals mean that I need to express milk for Nick to give Bea with a bottle. 

I use a Medela swing electric breast pump & Tommee tippee closer to nature bottles & Bea takes the bottle well. 

The main issue is finding the time to express, if Bea gets up, has breakfast and then has a sleep, I am quite good at getting ready & expressing before we go out, but if not- time goes! 

This has meant that I have needed to take Bea to rehearsals a few times. 

Most people are very good about it & spend time with Bea and help by holding, cuddling and playing.

I find it difficult as I feel a bit guilty for taking her out at night and not spending all of my time with her, but she is very good and it is making her a very social baby.

Anyway! 

This week, Bea is having her 4 month growth spurt. She is feeding quite often and for quite a length of time.

Because of this I have not had time to express any milk, so last night I was going to stay at home with my unsettled baby, but I was needed, so went and it was ok.

Today I made an effort and managed to get 3.5oz. Not loads, but as much as I could.

Nick took Bea off to his parents & I went off to rehearsal.

All went well until I saw a missed call on my phone off Nick, I called him & all I could hear was Bea screaming, he was on his way home from his parents house to ours with a starving child 😟

I couldn't leave rehearsal, so I asked him to bring her to me.

We agreed for him to phone me when he got to the car park. I saw my phone ringing and ran as close to Mo as I could. 

I got there and no Daddy or Bea to be seen. I panicked and ran back for my phone & ran back... They were there.

I pulled the door open & Bea was fast asleep with a beetroot red face 😟

I woke her up and got her straight out and burst into tears. I held her so tight, I felt terrible and so guilty for leaving her and not being there with her milk.

I felt selfish for doing Panto and overall a rubbish mummy.

I took her in and finished my rehearsal. I held her right as I sang Especially for you.

She stayed close and quiet and I got her in the car without any fuss.

I drove home as fast and safely as I could.

I pulled up and she was fast asleep. Nick took her out of her car seat and put her into her Moses basket.

She slept and I stared for the next 20 minutes... She is now getting the feed she deserves.

TMSM xxx