Thursday 30 January 2014

The abandoned baby...

Have you ever read about the pushchair scam where a gang would leave a pushchair or car seat with a doll in it on the side of the road, then as soon as a passer by ( usually a female ) stops and gets out to check if the baby is ok, they get attacked/ raped, robbed or beaten and then their car is stolen.

Well, with that story in mind, I had an appointment at the dentist at 3pm and naturally Bea wanted a feed just before I was about to leave! I left expressed milk in the freezer & ran out of the door! 

I was rushing and on the way I saw an abandoned pushchair. Suddenly my whole life went into slow motion and all of the above was flashing through my mind. I could see the child moving and got quite fretty. 

Suddenly a lady ( I presume the mother ) popped up from behind the pushchair she was kneeling down. Clearly she'd been there seconds, although it felt like an age! 

What an idiot! I would have looked a right clown if I'd have pulled over and got out!! 

I just used my boobs to get out of a speeding fine...

Well... My boobs seem controversial enough at the moment, so I might add to it.

Ironically I got a speeding fine this week and as yet, I have not had a chance to use my boobs to get me out of the fine... If I can, I will! 

Sadly, those who commented are now trapped in a Facebook game, which for once if actually quite fun! 

My college friend had ' oh no I just crashed my bosses car' as her status and I commented ' oh no 😟'... I just started texting her hoping she was ok when I received this...

Sorry Beth,Its a game and you have just become another victim as did I. Hehe. You never should have commented or liked my status. The person who likes or comments on my status must choose one of the following phrases and put it in their own Facebook status for at least an hour Hmmm ok..
You can choose...
Oh no just scratched my boss's car,
I've decided to get a tattoo,
Just used my boobs to get out of a speeding fine,
Oh no lost my phone and there's saucy pics on it,
Why is no one around when I'm feeling horny?,
No toilet paper..goodbye socks..
Note: remember you can only use one of these sentences. No explanations , no comments. When someone comments or likes your status, send him/her this message. You must do it and please, keep the secret. Your turn !;-)


Clever huh! So now I am watching the fun unfold! 

I wonder which people will do first- read my blog, or my status! 

Happy motoring...

Wednesday 1 January 2014

Time is money

Time is money is a very true phrase, but not really applicable to a mother! 

Time is just important and it needs to be juggled. 

At the last pantomime rehearsal I was asked what I'm going to do with Bea during show week. I explained that my mum was coming over for part of the week and that Nick would be with her for the remainder and I just had to make sure I had plenty of milk. 

The final comment was "Good luck with that!" 

As if I wasn't feeling enough pressure trying to juggle Panto & motherhood, I now have the added pressure of stock piling enough milk to get us through show week!

I was stressed and Bea wasn't sleeping particularly well due to her cough, but when the morning came it was tough! I had to express every morning. I even started taking my breast pump to BUNS on a Thursday. 

One morning I was getting quite stressed with writing Christmas cards & playing with Bea, making breakfast, wrapping gifts, that I decided to make my life easier. 

I was measured for a nursing bra at 36E in Mothercare when Beatrix was first born and bought a pack of two bras to keep me going. Two were never going to be enough, so I popped back in and picked up another two in a different style. 

*sigh* Why didn't my baby brain think to try them on?! They were way to small in the cup, but being desperate and stupid- I kept them. 

Of course they were never right and before long I was back to Mothercare purchasing another two ( which I did try on! )

I remembered that I had these two ill fitting bras upstairs and in a fit of Blue Peter creativity, I doctored a design up which enabled me to express and write Christmas cards! Genius! I was blown away by my invention. 

I must close now before Mothercare & Mama's & Papa's get on the phone!

Please see the photograph for the full explanation! 

Cape Crusader

The Christmas period brought with it a lot of family & friends and joyous timm , but in our house it also brought the Christmas D&V bug- not nice! 

Due to said bug, it meant that on Sunday the 29th of December I had an afternoon  rehearsal for Panto, which I had to take Bea to, as Nick was poorly in bed.

She was asleep when I arrived & I parked her in the corner of the room in the hope that she would stay asleep. 

I had parked her near a doorway and as the general public had access to the building my paranoia got the better of me & I moved her so that nobody stole my precious bundle. 

Sure enough within a couple of numbers Bea was awake. She watched from her car seat & was then passed around the company whilst I was on stage. 

In between acts I had planned to pop to Morrisons next door to grab some lunch, do a quick nappy change & feed Bea before eating my lunch and getting back to the show. 

Bea had other plans as someone informed me " I think she needs a nappy!". Her bag was in the car, so I ran to get it. When I got back I could see that the information should have been " Your daughter needs a new nappy and ne outfit! "

Bea's introduction to banana had taken effect and we had to have a full costume change, which she thought was very funny! 

All changed and clean I took her back into the room for a feed. 

Having battled with the changing bag of soiled clothes & nappies I decided to discreetly feed Bea with my scarf, rather than dig for my breast feeding cape.

Please see the photo for how this usually looks. Joules chic for the breast feeding mother NOT!!!!

Bea started feeding and just as Gary turned around and said " Where'a your cape thing?", I said " Oh, she's fine with my scarf" Well she wasn't!!!!!

At hearing Gary's voice she shot up bolt upright looking directly at he & Kate and revealing my right boob to them both. How embarrassing!!!

I think I'll take more time to dig for the cape in future!